Detecting a Narcissist can be an intricate task as they often possess a charismatic and self-assured demeanour that is both alluring and persuasive. They are adept at concealing their true selves, presenting a favourable impression that can deceive even their closest friends or family members.

In the following sections, I delve deeper into the characteristic behavioural patterns and personality traits typically exhibited by an NPD individual that can help you identify and understand this personality type better. It's important to note however, that not every individual with NPD will manifest all these behaviours, and likewise not all individuals who exhibit some of these behaviours necessarily have NPD.
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Grandiosity:
A narcissist often manifests an exaggerated sense of self-importance, perceives themselves as extraordinary, or unique and harbours a deep-seated need for admiration and attention. This grandiosity serves as a mechanism to bolster their self-esteem and establish a sense of superiority over others. Grandiose tendencies can manifest in various ways: bragging about their achievements or skills—even if these are overstated or fabricated; seeking admiration and attention from others, often through extravagant gestures or theatrical displays; belittling or disregarding others, particularly those seen as inferior or as a threat to their self-perception; insisting on controlling situations or having the final word; and maintaining a belief that they are exempt from the rules or laws that govern others. For individuals with NPD, their self-image and the perception others have of them is paramount.

No form of empathy:
Narcissists are fundamentally self-focused, with little to no ability to empathise with or tend to the feelings or needs of others. Often, they perceive others as mere objects or tools for their own benefit. Narcissists lack the emotional depth or introspection necessary to genuinely connect with others at an emotional level. They struggle with regulating their emotions, making it challenging for them to understand or respond appropriately to others' feelings. They may either have a narrow range of emotions or experience intense emotions that overshadow their capacity to empathise. Narcissists may consider their needs and desires to be superior to those of others, oblivious to the harm their actions or behaviors might inflict.

Entitlement:
A Narcissist may harbour a sense of entitlement to special treatment or privileges, stemming from their inflated self-perception of importance, uniqueness, or superiority. They may react with anger or resentment when their expectations are not fulfilled. Their sense of entitlement is often underpinned by a lack of empathy, leading to difficulties in understanding or caring about others' feelings or needs. They frequently view others as mere instruments for their own gain, rather than as individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and aspirations. Additionally, their entitlement may serve as a defence mechanism to shield their fragile self-esteem and evade confronting their own flaws or inadequacies.

​Interpersonally exploitative: 
NPD individuals frequently exhibit exploitative behaviour in their interpersonal relationships, rooted in their lack of, or no empathy, and disregard for others' feelings or needs. They often perceive others as mere tools or resources to be exploited for personal advantage. They may seize upon others' vulnerabilities to gain power, control, or personal benefit. This can manifest in various ways, such as financially, emotionally, or sexually exploiting others. Additionally, NPD individuals may manipulate others for personal gain, engaging in dishonest or unethical conduct without considering its impact on others. Their sense of superiority and entitlement may lead them to feel justified in exploiting others. Their unempathetic behaviour and struggle to comprehend or respond to others' emotional needs can hinder the formation of healthy relationships and often results in a pattern of exploitative behaviour.

​Gaslight:
This is a psychological manipulation strategy prevalent among Narcissists, aiming to gain control over you by instilling doubt in your memory, perception, or sanity. This tactic, known as gaslighting, can take multiple forms. They might deny events or conversations occurred, even if you have clear evidence suggesting otherwise. They could belittle your feelings, concerns, or experiences, rendering them trivial. They frequently accuse you of the very actions they are guilty of, known as 'projecting', serving to deflect blame and evade accountability. By withholding or selectively presenting information, they manipulate your perception of reality. Additionally, they might attempt to disorient you by changing the subject or diverting the conversation, further enhancing their control.

Interpersonal manipulation:
Narcissists employ a range of manipulation strategies to assert power, control, and seize attention. They're adept at projecting a captivating, charismatic persona to gain your trust and favour. Narcissists are notorious for blame-shifting, adeptly dodging responsibility for their actions and redirecting blame onto you in a manipulative and compelling manner. They resort to emotional manipulation, including guilt-tripping or pity ploys, to bend your actions to their will or to garner sympathy and attention. They might also deploy triangulation, inciting conflict between you and others to stir drama and manipulate outcomes. Narcissists may use affection or attention as bargaining chips, withdrawing them as a form of punishment when you fail to cater to their demands. Lastly, they are known to project their own insecurities and flaws onto you, attempting to convince you that you are the one with the problem.

Fragile self-esteem:
Despite their inflated or grandiose self-perception, individuals with NPD often harbour a fragile sense of self, susceptible to the slightest criticism or rejection due to their deeply-rooted insecurities and hunger for validation and admiration. Consequently, even minor slights or perceived insults can trigger disproportionate reactions of defensiveness, anger, vengeance or injured pride in these individuals. To reinforce their brittle self-esteem, they may resort to boasting, embellishing their achievements, and relentlessly seeking validation and attention. Their fragile ego also renders them ill-equipped to cope with failure or disappointment, viewing any setback as a personal affront to their self-worth. In extreme cases, significant loss of status or adulation may plunge those with NPD into depression or even lead to suicidal tendencies.

Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love:
In essence, Narcissists operate under a constant quest for supremacy and distinction in their endeavours for success, influence, brilliance, and affection. They generally prioritise external validation and acknowledgement, and often resort to rivalry to assert their superiority over others. Narcissists are known to magnify their accomplishments and skills, irrespective of the absence or presence of supporting evidence. They frequently brag about their achievements, educational background or societal status to capture attention and win admiration. They often project themselves as specialists leaders or trailblazers in their respective fields, even claiming unique talents or skills.

Narcissists are innately competitive, willing to go the extra mile to demonstrate their supremacy over others. This could involve belittling others, engaging in a game of topping others' achievements, or striving to excel in diverse facets of life. They have a profound craving for recognition and validation, constantly seeking accolades, praise, and admiration to bolster their self-esteem and solidify their feeling of superiority.

Narcissists frequently harbour unrealistic expectations of grandeur power and love. They might anticipate achieving remarkable success without the requisite effort or feel deserving of preferential treatment and privileges. In romantic relationships, they may demand their partners fulfil their every whim and fantasy without expecting to reciprocate.

Need for excessive Admiration:
A Narcissist often holds a deep-seated desire for recognition and affirmation from others, and may employ elaborate measures to secure it. Those afflicted with NPD commonly exhibit heightened admiration for themselves or others, arising from their perpetual need for validation and endorsement. This overblown admiration can manifest in various ways, such as soliciting attention, appreciation, and laudation from others, or ostentatiously parading their accomplishments and possessions. This conduct is generally a mechanism to sustain their self-esteem and reaffirm their conviction in their own exceptionalism.

Moreover, individuals with NPD may extend excessive admiration towards others whom they view as successful, influential or appealing. This admiration often springs from a wish to align themselves with the success and authority of the person they admire, or to secure their approval and validation.

​Boasting about their own accomplishments or possessions, and making comparisons to others in order to highlight their own superiority:
Narcissists often derive a sense of gratification or delight from the failures or misfortunes of others, as it fortifies their own sense of supremacy. They uphold the belief that their uniqueness and exceptionalism can only be appreciated by, or entitle them to affiliate with, other extraordinary individuals or high-status entities. This stems from their inflated self-worth and incessant need for admiration.

NPD individuals typically perceive themselves as superior, attributing to themselves unique qualities or capabilities that set them apart from the rest. They might also harbour the notion that they are entitled to preferential treatment and acknowledgement owing to their perceived superiority.

Moreover they often believe that others are incapable of fully comprehending or appreciating their unique attributes and capabilities. This perception is usually driven by their need to sustain a sense of exceptionalism and to differentiate themselves from those they consider inferior. In certain instances, individuals with NPD might employ this belief as a tool to rationalise their actions or evade critique from others. By casting themselves as extraordinary, they might feel less accountable for their behaviour and less susceptible to feedback or criticism from others.

All these behaviours are rooted in the deep-seated insecurity and perpetual need for validation and admiration that typify NPD. Essentially, this is a mechanism for these individuals to uphold their sense of superiority and distance themselves from those they perceive as inferior or incapable of understanding them.​

​Envious of others and believes that others are envious of them:
Such a belief can be traced back to their own insecurities and the need to bolster their self-esteem by imagining others to be envious of them. They might also project their own feelings of envy onto others, assuming others must feel the same way they do about their own achievements and status.

When it comes to exhibiting envy towards others, individuals with NPD may engage in behaviors such as dismissing or undermining the successes or accomplishments of others, particularly if they feel that these achievements jeopardise their own sense of self-importance. They might belittle or criticise those who they perceive as less successful or accomplished than they are, using this as a strategy to reinforce their own sense of superiority.

These individuals frequently engage in competition with others to assert their superiority or success, even when such competition is unwarranted or irrelevant. They may brag about their own achievements or possessions, drawing comparisons to others to accentuate their own supremacy. They often experience a sense of satisfaction or pleasure at the failure or setbacks of others as it strengthens their own sense of superiority. 

Shows arrogant, conceited behaviours and attitudes: 
Individuals with NPD often exhibit an arrogance and conceit as a mechanism to fortify their own sense of self-importance and to guard themselves against feelings of vulnerability or inferiority. They frequently belittle or disregard the feelings, opinions, or needs of others, placing their own needs and views on a pedestal. They can also display dismissive attitudes towards feedback or criticism from others.

These individuals harbour an inflated sense of self-importance and tend to magnify their own achievements and capabilities to validate their own sense of supremacy. They may even appropriate the accomplishments of others as their own.

They possess a sense of entitlement to special treatment and privileges, such as immunity from rules or receipt of favoured treatment. They are prone to exhibit anger or displeasure if they do not receive the treatment they believe they deserve. They often demean or criticise others to elevate themselves or to validate their own sense of superiority. They might also engage in a game of topping others' achievements to demonstrate that they are superior or more successful.

They may react defensively or with anger when confronted with criticism, regardless of whether the criticism is constructive or valid, viewing it as a threat to their self-esteem and sense of self-importance.

Need to control and dominate: 
NPD Individuals often manifest a desire for control and dominance, stemming from an amalgamation of personality traits and psychological factors such as an inflated ego, a fear of desertion, and a longing for validation and admiration. Their grandiose self-perception often leads them to regard themselves as superior to others, feeling entitled to dictate the terms in all facets of interpersonal, social, or professional relationships. This tends to morph into controlling, manipulative, and exacting behaviour.

Another contributing factor is the intense fear of abandonment or rejection harboured by those with NPD. In an attempt to shield themselves from vulnerability, they may seek to control the behaviour of others ensuring they remain pivotal in the relationship. This can be expressed through jealousy, possessiveness, emotional and psychological abuse, even physical maltreatment.

Furthermore, those with NPD may instrumentalise others to prop up their own self-esteem. They crave validation and admiration from their surroundings and wield control over relationships to uphold their perceived prestige and power. They often strive to exert an all-powerful role over their partners and children, manipulating and dominating them to cater to their own needs and desires, often at the cost of their partner's or child's welfare and contentment.​

Vindictive: 
Narcissists may resort to retribution as a means of safeguarding their self-esteem, asserting their superiority, and penalising those who fail to live up to their expectations. Their self-esteem is often delicate, and they are likely to interpret any critique, rejection, or perceived slights as assaults on their self-worth, sparking intense emotional reactions. As such, they may pursue vengeance as a method to restore their perceived stature and influence.

Moreover, NPD individuals often view others as tools or possessions designed to fulfil their needs. When others fall short of meeting these expectations, they feel justified in administering punishment. They may also regard retaliation as a strategy to regain control and assert their dominance over a situation.

Lastly, Narcissists often grapple with empathy, hindering their ability to comprehend the ramifications of their actions on others. Their tendency to act impulsively and disregard potential outcomes can lead them to seek revenge without consideration for the harm it may inflict.

It's important to recognise that the presence of some of these traits or behaviours doesn't automatically indicate a diagnosis of NPD, as many individuals might display these characteristics to a degree. However, if these behaviors are persistently exhibited and result in substantial distress or dysfunction in relationships or daily activities, it's a strong indication of NPD.

As a personal insight and advice when identifying male individuals with NPD, examining their relationships especially with their mothers and any childhood traumas they might have faced, such as neglect, abuse, or a specific traumatic event, can be revealing. Either one or a combination of both can serve as a red flag.